


Snap! the Rhythm

by WarnerHedgehog



Series: The Science of Jonas Sludge [2]
Category: Original Work, Snap! - Fandom
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-22 21:06:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19977526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WarnerHedgehog/pseuds/WarnerHedgehog
Summary: A report about the nature of some 90s pop.





	Snap! the Rhythm

The Reverential Society of Rave Elders are in uproar today after it has been proved, as the 1990 hit song claimed, that rhythm actually is a dancer. Ohio Scientist, seventies disco queen and professional boffin Jonas Sludge has been up to his old tricks again and has been delving into the world of Germanic popsters, Snap!.  
His curiosity piqued by their claim that Rhythm was some form of dancer, he embarked on a quest to uncover the truth. After much communication with friend of the band and celebrity top hat wearer, Ebeneezer Goode, Jonas was able to procure a small quantity of Snap!'s rhythm for testing. He wanted to know whether it really was as "serious as cancer" to say that rhythm was a dancer, and if it was an actual "source companion", whatever that means. Subjecting the rhythm to electron microscopy, MRI scans, Tabby Cat scans, and poking with a pointy stick, he says he marvelled as the rhythm danced and moved it's way out of view every time he tried to look at it.  
In an interview with well known celebrity groover Theresa May for Private Eye magazine, Sludge claims that he eventually trapped the rhythm in a quantum magnetic field and observed it doing the watutsi. Within mere moments it had apparently transitioned to doing the monkey, and then it started on a chain of dances including the mashed potato, the boogaloo, the bony maroni, the duck, the swim and the twist. He set about recording these movements so he could analyse them at his leisure in his penthouse science lab.  
At a press conference in a Weatherpoons-style establishment in Shoreditch, former Snap! frontpeople Thea Austin and Turbo B said they felt vindicated by 'Sludge's exceptional work' and that they could finally hold their heads up high.  
Sludge himself is now apparently fed up to the hind legs with 90s pop and has now devoted both his shoes and himself to finding out what Pharrell has been wittering on about and just what "feeling like a room without a roof" means.


End file.
